


Five Times

by LSims



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-10 03:49:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19491517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LSims/pseuds/LSims
Summary: In which Emma and Alyssa observe five Times in their lives that forever changed them.Or: a ten part character study in Emma Nolan and Alyssa Greene.





	1. Emma

_A_ Harry Potter _lunch box._ Abby Plyer had a _Harry Potter_ lunch box, and Emma Nolan wanted it, bad. The lunch box consumed Emma’s life. She was going to get that lunchbox if it was the last thing she did.

Friday rolled around, and Emma still didn’t have that lunch box. She had tried, oh how she tried, but every attempt was stopped by Miss Katrina, or by Abby herself. But Emma wasn’t giving up. When lunch time came, Emma walked right up to Abby and sat down beside her. “Hi.” She said. Abby looked at her.

“Hi.”

“That lunchbox is really cool.”

“Thanks.”

Suddenly Miss Katrina slammed a brown paper bag in front of Emma. She flinched, then sighed and begrudgingly took out her PB&J and juice box. She ate PB&Js every day. Emma really hated PB&Js. Abby probably doesn’t have a PB&J. Emma looked over, and she was right.

Abby was munching on baby carrots. She also had a water bottle and a _Lunchable_ . Emma had never had a _Lunchable_ before. Or, at least, not one like what Abby had.

“That looks good.” Emma said.

“Thanks. Do you want one?” Abby asked. Emma simply nodded. Nick was right, Abby really _was_ pretty. Her hair was red like Ariel’s, and it hung in two short little braids. Emma wanted to braid Abby’s hair. Abby’s eyes were gray, but they made you feel warm and snuggly. Suddenly Emma noticed something. Abby was giving Emma the lunchbox! She reached for it with a shaking hand. This was her chance! But Emma stopped.

What if Abby was mad that Emma took her lunchbox? What if she was sad? Emma didn’t want to make Abby cry! She was too pretty for that! So Emma just took a cracker sandwich from the box and slid it back. Emma tore off a piece of her own sandwich and gave it to Abby in trade, though she hoped Abby didn’t actually eat it. Emma didn’t want to put Abby through that. The rest of the day passed with Emma sitting in a corner, sulking with her juice box, watching Abby.

Maybe Emma wanted more than just Abby’s lunchbox.


	2. Alyssa

Alyssa Greene didn’t want to marry Nick Thompson. She didn’t want to kiss him, either. And she _certainly_ didn’t want to hold hands with him. But, everyone in Mrs. Patton’s first grade class wanted her too, apparently. “Come on!” Kaylee whined at recess one day. “You can’t not want to kiss him! He’s so cute!”

“I already told you Kaylee, I don’t like Nick!” Alyssa yelled.

Kaylee leaned in close. “He’s so romantic! Plus, your babies would be adorable.” Alyssa thought she was gonna be sick. _Babies_? With _Nick_? Yuck!

“If you think he’s so romantic, then why don’t you marry him?” Alyssa asked.

Kaylee huffed. “Fine! I will!” Alyssa sighed as she watched Kaylee march up to Nick. Her friends were really annoying sometimes.

“Are you okay?” Alyssa turned. Standing next to her was Chastity Grace. She was wearing a pink shirt with white polka dots, a white sweater, and a white skort. Her hair had been pinned back with a butterfly clip.

“What?” Alyssa asked, suddenly brushing the mulch off of her sweater.

“Are you okay? You look mad.” “Oh.” Alyssa’s face felt hot for some reason. “I’m fine. My friends are just being buttholes.” She gasped. “Don’t tell anybody I said that.”

Chastity grinned. “Only if you don’t tell that I stole a piece of popcorn from Shelby.”

“Deal.”

“So why are your friends being…” Chastity giggled, “y’know…” Alyssa giggled as well. “They want me to marry Nick.”

Chastity gasped. “Nick! Why? He’s so gross. He has cooties.” Now Alyssa gasped.

“ _Ewww_!!”

Suddenly both girls collapsed into a fit of giggles. “So,” Alyssa asked after recovering, “who would you marry?”

Chastity thought about it for a second. “Umm...Ha Joon, maybe? He’s nice. You?” Alyssa tried to think of a boy she wanted to marry. Not one crossed her mind. Why couldn’t she think of any?! What was wrong with her?! Alyssa began to panic. “I...don’t know….” Chastity put her hand on Alyssa’s shoulder. It made her feel butterfly-y inside.

“It’s okay, kids can’t get married anyway.” Chastity assured her. A whistle blew, and she looked at Alyssa. “We have to go.” As she watched her go, Alyssa thought that she wouldn’t mind marrying Chastity Grace.


	3. Emma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-Swearing, abusive language

Emma didn’t want to go to summer camp. She didn’t want to spend a week in the blazing heat, being eaten alive by bugs, doing “bonding activities” with people she hated. Besides, why were her parents even spending the money to send her? All they did was complain about how much money she cost them. She pointed this out to her mother as she watched tv.

“Your grandmother has offered to pay for it. Not to mention it gets you out of my hair.” Jenny countered. Emma huffed.

“But summer camp is stupid!” Mom slammed the remote down on the table and whipped her head toward Emma, making her flinch.

“Emma Mary Nolan! Just who the _hell_ do you think you are?! Your grandmother has graciously donated _her_ money so _you_ can do something fun this summer! And you are choosing to act like a complete brat! Other kids your age would _love_ to go to camp, and yet you’re choosing to be completely f*cking irrational about it! What is _wrong_ with you?”

The nine year old quivered as her mother ranted. Why didn’t she just say yes? She _knew_ what happens when she talks back! Why was she so stupid?!

“Well? What do you have to say for yourself, you ungrateful brat?” Jenny shrieked. Emma shook.

“I...s-sorry.” She whimpered. “I’ll go.”

“D*mn right you will.”

Emma walked off to her room. She was stupid to think her parents ever loved her. She could be just as much out of their way if she was roaming the neighborhood, playing with Kaylee, Shelby, and her other friends! But _no_ she had to be out of their lives, if just for a week.

Emma loved her parents, truly. But what did she have to do to get _them_ to love _her_?

  



	4. Alyssa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw-Minor physical violence

“I _hate_ church!” Alyssa lied on the ground and pounded her fist, screaming. Her mother stood over her, a glare on her face. “Now, Alyssa, why are you disappointing Jesus like this?! You know he wants to share his love and faith with you, why don’t you?!” Alyssa sniffled. “I already love him! Why do I have to say it in a stupid church?!” Helen Greene inhaled. “Communion in the church is a _very_ sacred thing, Alyssa Margaret. It represents that you have accepted Jesus’s love and that he _died_ for _your_ sins! You believe he did that, _don’t you_?”

The response came a second too late. Just as Alyssa sat up and started to say “Yes,” the book collided with the seven year old’s face with a _thwump_. Helen looked at the forming red spot in horror. “Alyssa...I…”

Alyssa simply looked at her mother with narrow eyes, tears running down her face. “ _I hate you_!” She screamed.

Alyssa ran up to her room. It wouldn’t be the only time she said those words.


	5. Emma

Why the _hell_ was Emma at this stupid dance?! Jenny and David had made it perfectly clear they didn’t want to pay for Emma to go. Emma certainly didn’t want to spend two and half hours at a middle school formal in a stupid dress and heels. Yet here she was, doing exactly that. Who exactly was she trying to please? Herself?

Emma sighed as she sat in the bleachers, wondering why she ever even existed in the first place.

“Hi.” A voice said. Emma jumped. Sitting to her left was Alyssa Greene. She was wearing a bright yellow, nineteen-fifties style dress. It was complete with bobby socks, Mary Janes, white gloves, and pearls. Her dark hair was even done in a fifties style. Apparently she thought this was the Halloween dance.

“My mom liked the ‘aesthetic.’”

Emma swore. Had she actually said that aloud? “Sorry.” She said, looking down embarrassedly.

Alyssa laughed. “It’s alright, I’m honestly really uncomfortable in this.”

Emma snorted. “You think _you’re_ uncomfortable? I _hate_ wearing dresses, and yet I’m wearing _this._ ” She gestured to her ensemble, a pastel pink, tight tulle dress that squeezed her thighs, and _heels_.

“Well, then why did you wear it?” Alyssa asked.

“Because of the dress code!” Emma’s eyes widened. She had gotten louder on that statement, and people were staring.

“Sorry.” Emma muttered, feeling her face flush.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing.” Alyssa said.

“Sorry.” Emma replied. “Sh*t.”

She and Alyssa sat in silence for a moment before Emma asked “Don’t you have a date?”

“Oh, Mack?” Alyssa questioned, pointing over to the bathrooms, where a group of boys were trying to snort _Kool-Aid_. “He’s busy.” The girls watched the spectacle for a few minutes when Emma said “I came by myself.”

“Oh.” Alyssa responded quietly. Suddenly she turned toward Emma with a grin.

“Hey, why don’t we dance together? “I mean, not like a slow dance or anything, cause that’d be weird,” she added quickly. “but like, a group dance, with me and my—”

“Alyssa!”

Kaylee and Shelby had made their way over to her.

“What are you doing with _her_?” Shelby asked, shooting a disgusted look toward Emma, who simply looked the other way. “But, l—“

“Come _on_ , the conga line is starting!”

Alyssa sighed and looked at Emma, mouthing a _bye_.

Emma waved. She thought everyone in this town sucked, but apparently not. Alyssa Greene was absolutely perfect.

  



	6. Alyssa

_Holy sh*t. Ho. Ly. Sh*t_ ! Alyssa couldn’t believe it. She was _actually_ doing it. She was actually making out with a girl! And at _bible camp_! Alyssa shifted her weight and faced Heidi Fitz with a grin. “Geez, this is _incredible_!”

Heidi snorted. “You done yet?”

“Yeah.” Alyssa panted and threw herself at Heidi. God, her lips were so _soft._ Alyssa could run her hands through Heidi’s hair for hours. Why did everyone say this was so sinful? Something bad shouldn’t feel so _good_.

_Was_ this sinful? The Bible said— _No_ . The Bible said _Man_ shall not _lay_ with _man_ . One, Alyssa was a woman, and two, Alyssa wasn’t _laying_ with anybody. Just kissing. But still, the look on her mother’s face if she saw what Alyssa was doing…

She pulled away.

“What, did I bite you?” Heidi asked.

Alyssa shook her head. “No, it’s just...I’m sorry, I can’t do this.”

“Aw come on, seriously? We were having such a good time ‘Lyssa!” Heidi whined.

“I know.” Alyssa said earnestly. “I know! I just feel so...guilty.”

“Oh don’t give me that crap.” Heidi snapped, pulling Alyssa towards her.

“You know d*mn well that what we’re doing is—”

“No.” Alyssa said, yanking back and adjusting her shirt. “I’m sorry, but no. I had _such_ a good time, Heidi, but, I’m done.”

_This was just an experiment_ . Alyssa told herself as she walked back to the lake. _I was just experimenting, therefore it’s not a sin._

 _But you_ liked _it_ . A voice in her head whispered. _You thought it was_ incredible.

 _No, we only_ thought _we did_ . Alyssa reasoned. _We were_ actually _completely indifferent to it_.

Alyssa Greene was straight. She was straight as an arrow. Alyssa was a good, _straight_ , Christian girl, and absolutely nothing could change that.

  
  



	7. Emma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-Homophobia, mentions of abuse, abusive language

“ _Why_ ?” Emma muttered the phrase repeatedly as she paced her room. Why was she doing this? Why did she think this was a good idea? _No_ , _breathe_ . Emma told herself. _You’re going to be okay_ . She leaned against her door and let out a shuddery breath. She was prepared. Emma had put on a blouse, and a _skirt_. She was even wearing sandals. (Well, technically they were flip flops, but you have to give her some credit.) Emma glanced at her bottle of Xanax. Taking another one was risky, but if it calmed her nerves…

With a firm swallow, Emma downed the pill, and then she walked down the stairs to see whatever verdict awaited her.

They were bent over the table, arguing over bills. Was this a good time? No. But honestly, there _never_ was a good time in the Nolan household. Emma cleared her throat.

“Um, Mom, Dad, can I tell you something?”

They looked up. “Emma, can this wait? You’re father and I are kind of busy right now.” Jenny said.

“I mean, if I _have_ too.” Emma replied. “But, I just feel like, if I don’t tell you now, I never will?”

David looked up. “You’re wearing a skirt.” He noted. “This must be serious.” He and Jenny looked at each other and he threw up his hands. “Alright, what is it?”

Emma took a breath and approached the table. “You should probably sit down for this.” She warned.

They sat. Jenny looked at Emma. “Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant.”

Emma smiled. “I’m not.” She took a deep breath and let it out. “I’m gay.”

They blinked. “What?”

“I’m gay.” Emma repeated. Regretting this more and more with every syllable. “I’m a lesbian, Homosex—”

“I know what it means.” Her father snapped. “I’m asking what you think gives you the right to tell us _that_?”

Emma stood there in shock. She knew it wasn’t going to be good, but…

“I…”

“You know, we have a lot of stuff on our plate right now, with the property taxes going up, and your father losing his job, and now you go and tell us that you’re a... _homosexual_?” Jenny exclaimed. “I just...don’t understand.”

“You know Emma, it’s really hard raising you, and now I get rewarded with a f*cking dyke?! What did I do to deserve this?” Her father asked.

The Xanax must not have kicked in, because adrenaline still coursed through Emma’s veins. She was _mad_.

“It was hard _raising me_ ?!” She yelled. “You never f*cking _did_ anything! Raising me? _Where_ ? I’ve been told to shut up and stay out of the way my whole life. If you gave me something, it was to keep me quiet! I’ll tell you what was hard, _living with you_!”

A vein popped out in David’s neck. “How _dare_ you talk to us that way, after all we do for you.” He growled. “Your mother and I have clothed you, fed you, given you shelter—”

“Wow, my basic human rights! How nice!” Emma sneered. She turned to Jenny. “You know, if you didn’t want me, you could have gotten rid of me, there are other options.”

“Not back then! Not here!” Her mother cried. “It was expensive, a long distance. Your grandfather gave me support, he let us stay until I could figure this all out.”

 _The same grandfather who gave you your crappy personality_ . Emma thought. But all she said was “Y’know, you’ve never been on my side, not once. This is just like when Grandad Ryan threw the frying pan at me because I didn’t want to help cook Thanksgiving Dinner. I was _in pain_ , and all you did was tell me to stop overreacting, it wasn’t like anything was broken. You know what that’s called? Gaslighting. Congratulations, you’re abusive!”

“I _never_ said anything like that, you must have made it up.” Jenny exclaimed.

“Whoop, there it is!”

Jenny clenched her fist. “You are _such_ an ungrateful little b*tch, Emma. And you know what, you’re right! I _should have_ aborted you.”

Emma blinked back tears. That stung, bad. She tried to find the words, but she had no energy left. Nothing but tears remained.

“Let's make a deal, Emma.” David drawled, putting his hand on her shoulder. She flinched, fully expecting to be on the floor in a matter of seconds. It didn’t happen. Instead, he gave her a cruel smile. “Since you are so very _unhappy_ here,” he continued, “and I don’t want you here either, why don’t you just _leave_?” Emma felt her breathing getting quicker. So much for the extra Xanax.

“Are you...kicking me out?” She whispered.

“What’s wrong? I thought you _hated_ us?”

Her chest hurt. “No, please don’t do this.” Emma pleaded.

“You said it yourself, I should’ve gotten rid of you.” Jenny quipped. “And now I am. You have fifteen minutes. Get your sh*t and _get out_.”

The next hour was a blur. Somehow, Emma made it into a strong embrace. A woman’s frail voice told her it was going to be okay. But it wasn’t, the world was never going to be the same.

  



	8. Alyssa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW-Homophobia

_Lesbian_. The word echoed on Alyssa’s lips. She was a _lesbian_. Alyssa didn’t _mean_ to end up on an “Am I gay?” quiz, she just wanted to look up hairstyles for Homecoming. But she got distracted by how pretty the models were, and somehow, Alyssa started looking at _other stuff_ , and an add for this quiz came up, and Alyssa clicked it, thinking, or rather hoping, it would come back negative, but she was wrong. The screen in front of her read “Yes. 100%”

Well, sh*t. Now what was she supposed to do? First thing first, delete this search history. If her mother found this…Alyssa shuddered at the thought. She went through and deleted it all, backdating a day to make it less suspicious, and then slammed her laptop shut, flopping down on her bed. What was she going to do now? She couldn’t tell anybody, not after how everyone had treated Emma when they found out. _Just, do what everyone else does, bury it down deep._ Alyssa told herself. _Besides, for all we know, this is a phase_.

Just then she heard a door open. “Alyssa, I’m home!” Her mother called from the front of the house. “Did you start dinner yet?”

Alyssa swore. She’d forgotten about starting the pasta. “Coming, Mom!” She called, mentally preparing herself for the major scolding she was about to get.

It was quite obvious that Helen Greene was in a bad mood. She scowled as she hung up her coat and walked into the kitchen. “Alyssa! You didn’t start the pasta?”

Alyssa sighed as she followed her mother in. “Yeah, sorry. I told myself to remember to do it, but then I got really busy with homework.”

“Well, I’m not waiting. Just, microwave some frozen meals or something, will you? I need to relax for a minute.”

“On it.”

Alyssa savored the silence as she microwaved the _Lean Cuisine’s_. She knew all too well that the second after they prayed, she would be greeted with an _at least_ half an hour long rant about the hardships of real estate.

The _Cuisine’s_ were set on the table, and both mother and daughter bowed heads. “I’ll lead tonight Mom.” Alyssa offered. She cleared her throat. “Bless us, Oh Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive, from thy bounty, through Christ, Our Lord. Amen.”

“Amen.”

Her mother opened her mouth, and Alyssa knew what was coming. “You will not _believe_ the day I had at work, Alyssa.”

 _Whoop, there it is_. “Mmm?”

“These couples, I swear, these couples. Ridiculous, the whole lot of them. They all want _something_. I mean, they act like I’m showing freaking New York mansions. This is Indiana, what do you expect?!” Alyssa just shoveled vegetables into her mouth, throwing out the occasional “Mmm hmm.”

“And the last couple,” Helen continued. “You’ll never guess what they were, Alyssa.”

“Dogs?”

“Even worse, _lesbians_.”

The fork dropped with a clang. Alyssa stared, wide. “W-What?”

“I know! Absolutely ridiculous. I mean, imagine that! Lesbians in _our_ town. The nerve!” Alyssa hoped her sweat wasn’t visible. “What were they even doing here?” She asked.

“Something about a mother being sick, wanting cheaper taxes? It doesn’t matter, they won’t be moving here anyway.”

“Why? Did they not see anything they were interested in?”

“I told them that their kind weren’t welcome here.”

“Oh.”

Alyssa thought she was gonna be sick. She slowly pushed her carrots around the plate. “It must have been interesting, meeting those people.”

Her mother snorted. “I wouldn’t call them _people_ , Alyssa. Anybody who is that _proud_ of their _sin_ can’t possibly be human. No shame, the whole lot of them.” Helen looked up. “Alyssa, what’s wrong?” She asked.

“I—I think this meal is is is bad.” Alyssa said. Suddenly she stood up. “I’m sorry, I think I’m gonna throw up!” She rushed off to the nearest bathroom and hurled, just making it to the toilet.

Alyssa felt a hand rub her shoulder a few minutes later. “I checked the date on the boxes, they were still good for another week.” Her mother said. “But I guess you never know.” Alyssa just groaned and heaved. “You know, if you had just made the pasta—”

“I know I should have remembered the friggin’ pasta!” Alyssa snapped. “But can you _not_ b*tch at me right now?” Helen pursed her lips. Normally she would have reprimanded Alyssa for such a comment, but she sensed this was illness induced. “If you still feel bad tomorrow, let me know. I’ll make an appointment with Doctor Howard.” With that, she left Alyssa to finish.

That night, Alyssa laid in bed. Her thoughts churned with her mother’s comments. _Their kind weren’t welcome here, Anybody who is that proud of their sin can’t possibly be human, Imagine, lesbians in_ our _town_. Alyssa Greene was going to take this to her grave, or she might very well end up dead.


	9. Emma

Emma hated Chemistry. It wasn’t the fact that she was bad at it or anything, she did okay in it. But Chemistry just happened to be the _one_ class were she was the most noticed, apparently. She drummed her foot against the stool as Kevin and Shelby passed out lab papers. As expected, he passed right by her table. Emma sighed and raised her hand. “You forgot me, Jones.”

He looked at her and snickered.

“Oh _sorry_ , Emma. I just didn’t want to get too close to you and catch your homo disease.”

 _A**hole_ , she muttered as she caught the paper in her hand.

The class laughed along with Kevin, and even Mrs. Ryder was smiling. Sometimes, Emma really hated this town.

“Now, if you all will read your manuals, you’ll see that I have assigned a class-long experiment. Using your knowledge of heat, protons, different substances, atoms, and physical and chemical changes, you all will have to successfully melt a piece of peanut brittle into peanut butter. You will have to log your before and after observations, how long it took you to succeed, as well as a brain dump. This will be with partners—”

The class cheered.

“That _I_ will choose.”

They groaned.

Mrs. Ryder only smiled and began to read off names.

“Kaylee and Kevin. Mackenzie and Nick. Abby and Olivia. Heidi and Fiona…”

Emma zoned out. She’d never cared about partners, and she certainly didn’t now that no one wanted to be hers.

“...Alyssa and Emma.”

She snapped out of her stupor. _What the hell_ ? Her, _Emma Nolan_ , be partnered with perfect popular cheerleader _Alyssa Greene_? Emma looked down as she realized people were staring back and forth between her and Alyssa. She saw Kaylee grab Alyssa’s hand.

“Um, Mrs. Ryder? Alyssa can work with Kevin and I. Emma doesn’t need a partner.”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I’ll be fine.” Emma muttered.

“No.”

Everyone, including Emma, looked at Alyssa.

“ _What_?” Kaylee hissed. Alyssa snatched her hand away from Kaylee.

“ _No_. I can work with Emma, I don’t mind.”

“Are you sure?” Mrs. Ryder asked, squinting at her list in confusion. “I can have a group of three.”

Alyssa looked up defiantly. “I _want_ to.”

 _D*mn_ . Emma has known Alyssa was better than the rest of the people in Edgewater, but she didn’t know Alyssa was _this_ perfect.

She strode over to Emma’s table and slammed down her books. Emma swore she heard the girl whisper _Ignore them_. Everyone continued to stare at them.

“Well?” Mrs. Ryder snapped. “Get to work! You have forty five minutes.”

Alyssa Greene was even more beautiful up close than from a distance. Her skin glowed and was the color of a rosewood guitar. Her dark hair was voluminous and shiny, like a shampoo commercial. She was wearing a simple white blouse and jeans, but the outfit seemed made just for her. Suddenly Emma blinked. She realized that Alyssa was looking at her earnestly.

“What?”

“I asked if you could double check that we have everything.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

For some reason, Emma felt giddy and nervous around Alyssa Greene. Even if she was looking at her from across the room. Emma had felt this way ever since the night of the eighth grade formal.

She grabbed a pair of safety goggles and adjusted them against her glasses. “Let’s see. Paper and pencil, check. Proper lab safety, uh,” Emma paused to put on a lab coat. “check.

“Bunsen burner, check. Peanut brittle, check.”

Alyssa nooded. “Okay.”

“You know, you really didn’t have to work with me.” Emma said.

Alyssa looked at her. “I _wanted_ to Emma, okay? Not everybody here hates you.”

She turned back to the burner and held the brittle in one hand and fidled with the burner with her other hand. She held the brittle in the flame. “Is this good?”

Emma squinted.

“No, that’s way too high. If you have it that hot, the brittle will—”

 _BANG_!

“—explode.”

Peanut brittle was everywhere. Some was splattered on the table, other pieces on the walls, and Emma and Alyssa were covered in the half melted goop. Alyssa grinned sheepishly. “Sorry.”

Emma groaned. “ _Alyssa_!” Then suddenly she burst into laughter. Alyssa joined in too, and soon both girls were doubled over, tears pooling out of their eyes. “G-g-god—I’m so sorry.” Alyssa guffawed, struggling to stand up.

“It’s—f-fine.” Emma wheezed. “I should—have b-b-been—paying at-tension.” She stood up and took a deep breath. “Your shirt’s ruined.” Emma noted.

Alyssa glanced down and shrugged. “It’s fine. I mean, my mom will be pissed, but I really don’t care.” Suddenly she froze. “What are you doing?”

Now _Emma_ froze. “Um, I was—there was, th-th-there is some in your h-hair, and I was was trying to remove it.” She stuttered.

“Oh.” Alyssa paused, then reached towards Emma’s own hair. “There’s some in yours too.” The moment was broken by the sound of footsteps and a disgruntled throat clearance.

“Emma—” Mrs. Ryder started, but Alyssa cut her off. “It was my fault, ma’am. I should have been more careful.”

Emma felt the sudden need to protect Alyssa from the blame. “It was _my_ fault, Mrs. Ryder, I should have paid closer attention.” The two bantered back forth, each trying to take the blame, but Mrs. Ryder stopped them.

“Well, whoever’s fault this is, you are _both_ still getting zeroes. Clean this up, _now_.” She walked off with pursed lips, muttering under her breath. Alyssa just looked at Emma and laughed once again.

Emma had never enjoyed a day at school so much, but as she watched Alyssa Greene walk off after class, that changed. The nasty comments, the notes left in her locker, the fights at home, none of that mattered. There _was_ a silver lining in life, Emma thought. _Grandma was right_. All of it was bearable, because Emma Nolan was in love with Alyssa Greene.

  



	10. Alyssa

The only sounds Alyssa could hear were the pouring rain and Emma’s breathing. The clock on Emma’s nightstand read _12:03_ AM. As tired as she should be, Alyssa was awake as ever. She sighed and gently moved so she was leaning against the pillows, careful to not wake the sleeping girl.

Alyssa’s mother wasn’t aware she was here, and she never would be. Helen Greene was out of town, and Alyssa’s elderly neighbor, Mr. Meyers, was long asleep, not to mention confused, to be aware of her escapades. She wished her mother knew where she was. She wished she didn’t have to lie. Alyssa _hated_ lying. She was always honest, no matter what. If she didn’t want to tell someone something, she simply didn’t say anything. But just two hours prior, as Alyssa was halfway to Emma’s house, her mother had texted her, asking if she was in bed. And Alyssa had said _yes_ , like a liar.

Alyssa _desperately_ wanted to tell her mother this. She wanted to have someone she _trusted_ to confide in. Alyssa wanted to have gotten advice and _love_ from her mother when she first discovered her feelings, not have had to rely on that stupid quiz. She wanted to have received a loving answer when she phrased the _hypothetical_ question at dinner, not with an hour long rant about sinning and tears that Alyssa buried deep. But unfortunately, she wasn’t going to get that, ever.

Emma hasn’t gotten that either. Or at least, not from her parents. Her grandmother though? God, that woman was a saint. That was where they were now, at Emma’s grandmother’s. Because Emma couldn’t tell her parents about her feelings either, they had kicked her out.

Alyssa watched Emma as she slept. Her blonde bob feathered out on Alyssa’s chest, her glasses laid askew on her face. Alyssa smiled. It bothered her _so much_ , but if she woke Emma up…

No. She knew for a fact that Emma was _not_ a morning person. Alyssa doubted she was a woken-up person either. They had been dating for seven months now. They had been dating _publicly_ for zero. That was how it had to be for two girls in love in Edgewater, Indiana. Especially if one of those girls had a mother like Helen Greene.

_What if things were different_? It was something Alyssa often asked herself. _What if they weren’t in Edgewater? What if nobody actually gave a crap?_ But it wasn’t different. Alyssa would still live in Indiana for two more years, and people would still care way too much for the rest of time.

Alyssa shook her head. _Don’t focus on that_ . She told herself. _Focus on_ Emma. And so Alyssa listed of all the things she loved about Emma Mary Nolan.

She loved the way Emma’s hair sparkled in the sun, the look she got when she cleaned her glasses, the scrunched up little squint. She loved the way Emma’s hands felt in her own, her calloused fingers gripping Alyssa’s soft ones. She loved Emma’s heavenly voice and every single cover she posted on _YouTube_ , especially because she knew how much it took Emma to post them. She loved Emma’s cute little tummy, and her laugh whenever Alyssa poked it, just to make Emma squeal. But most of all, Alyssa loved how _brave_ Emma was. How even though the kids at school, including Alyssa’s own friends, stuck nasty notes in Emma’s locker and called her “dyke” like it was her new name, and the fact that she was _kicked out_ by her _own parents_ , just for being brave enough to tell them who she really was, Emma was still kicking. She still showed up with a proud face and she still loved Alyssa with all her soul, despite having to keep it a secret. Alyssa _wished_ she had that kind of courage.

“ _I love you_ .” The words came out before Alyssa could stop them, but she didn’t try to. It was true. Everything she had ever said about Emma were one-hundred percent true. Alyssa loved Emma Nolan, and nothing, not even her mother, would _ever_ change that.


End file.
